Going Back and Never Coming Back?

I keep thinking about what to do this summer. I know I'm not going to camp, I've closed that chapter of my life for now. I also know I can't afford to go to DC. A lot of people are telling me to go to Israel for the summer, but there is one serious problem with that. If I spend any length of time in Israel I'm fairly certain that I won't come home...

About 3 months before I graduated from high school I proudly told my mother over dinner one evening that I was going to make Alyiah. My mom was stunned. Frankly she had good reason. At that point I had never been to Israel, I had only experienced Israel through my summer Hebrew immersion. Nevertheless I felt a deep connection with my people's homeland and like young people of the past I wanted to go and make a new life. Obviously I didn't leave after graduation, and a lot of it has to do with my parents 'gentle' guidance.

I know that going back to Israel this summer is a bad idea if I want to finish up my schooling here.