A Semester Review...

So this is my penultimate semester at the U of M. While I've been here I've not had an easy semester, and this one was no different from the previous ones. This semester was an attempt to strike a balance between the major pieces of my life (in no particular order mind you):

Work
School
Frat
Personal Life

Was I even remotely successful at this? The answer is once again no I was not. There were times when the Frat dominated my life and I felt like all I did was organize/prepare the next event. These were the times when I wanted to throw up my hands and say screw this, but in the end I'm happy with what I'm getting from the effort. My brothers all say you get what you put in. I've put in a lot and now I'm finally starting to reap the rewards.

There were times when my life was centered around getting up and going to work and class. These were the times when I couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to have a personal life in any way, shape, or form. Exhausting is the only word which describes the parts of the semester where I was in a work/school rut.

Lastly was my personal life. Did I have any fun this semester that didn't involve me being at work or hanging out with the frat? The answer to this question is yes. Maybe I even had a little bit too much fun at certain points. The trip to DC was the most relaxed I've been in a long time, and I have no idea when the next time I'll be able to do something like it again. I had a lot of fun with many different people throughout the semester. I ran up bar tabs buying drinks for friends and managed to say/do some pretty stupid things when I had a few too many.

Balance was not exactly my strong suit, and well it never really has been. I seem to crash through one week at a time, barely seeing what's going on tomorrow let alone a month from now. However, now I have to start thinking about the rest of my life and frankly I'm terrified.

The post for...

Some people I know tell me I'm having a great semester. They say that my semester must be great if I'm hooking up with all those girls. I've become something I didn't want to be. I'm not sure how to describe what I've become, but I've hurt people who I didn't mean to hurt. I'm not sure there's any way to fix what I've done, but for the first time since freshman year I have a serious regret in my life.

I hurt someone who cared about me and for that I am sorry, but there's no way to go back. I as a person shouldn't have done it for the obvious reason: its wrong. However, I as who I am shouldn't have done it because its happened to me enough times. From cheating girls to being the rebound, I've been hurt enough times to know how bad it feels. Well it feels like shit on the other side too. I feel like an asshole which is basically what I am at this point.

I'm not sure if the person I hurt will ever read this, but I'm sorry that I hurt you. I know that its not enough, but its all I got. You say I'm a big talker, and maybe I am, but talk is all I got. There's really no action at this point. I deserve what I get, whatever that may be. I'm probably too much of a coward to even call you, but who knows I might grow a pair and apologize. I know that my confusing life is not an excuse for anything that I did, but its certainly a contributing factor in the equation. Not that I actually understand the equation in anyway.

From a distance, one of my friends would probably say: Harry's just having fun. I'm not entirely convinced that I'm having as much fun as everyone thinks I'm having.

Procrastination

Yeah, I know its been a common theme for some of my blogs, but here I am again. I'm writing a three page paper on a Leviticus Midrash. Its not one of those fun story type midrashes either, its one of those legal boring and all together not fun ones. Hey I picked the major right, can't be all watching movies in too jewish.

Anyway I feel very disconected from my life and I'm not entirely sure why. I'd really like to know where the hell all my time goes. Its not like I sit in front of the TV or play video games. Why haven't I had any time to think? Who knows. Anyway thats enough procrastination.

The eve of something...

Tomorrow morning at 8:30 am I will report to Room 31 of Rapson Hall. Once there I will be thumbprinted and then I will take one of the most difficult tests of my life. I've been preparing for this test since May, but still there's a nagging sense of being unprepared. I know my logical reasoning question types down cold. I can tell you which kind of logic games I'll be better at (hybrid games by the way.) I even know that unlike most of my prep class I will finish a reading comprehension section with time to spare. So why the nagging feeling? Its more that I need the answer to the question: What's next?

Pledges and my life is my own again

So today was the day. I inducted my first pledge class as the president, and my life is once again mine. I have free time again. Its very nice. I'm caught up on reading and even a bit ahead in some classes. I'm just hoping that now I can figure out my personal life.

But that leads me to think...

What if I really don't actually have a personal life? What if my whole life is simply focused on the goals which I've set for myself. What if I'm actually nothing more than school, work, and frat. Every day school...work...frat...repeat. Every day. Scary.

As scary as it is, I'm in a serious rut and I'm only 3 weeks into school. Craziness. I'm really looking forward to this weekend in Chicago. I know its mostly for Rosh Hashana, but it'll be good to have some perspective. While I'm happy for all the amazing people I know here and my brotherhood, nothing substitues for blood family. It'll be good to see my nephews and my sister.

L'shana Tova!

Soo talk about a long time no blog

I have no Idea if anyone actually remembers that I have a blog seeing as I haven't posted since before summer. But here goes a large update type blog:

I shall update by topic rathern than by time...

Lovelife:
At the beginning of the summer I began going out with Jessica. She and I had lots of fun together. But alas I belived that it was not ment to last. She and I still hangout and we have good times, but again I'm not sure about the whole situation, but i guess i never am sure about my love life at this point.

Friends:
Nate and I had a bit of a falling out over something very much trivial at this point. The whole situation happened near the beginning of the summer, but has recently righted itself. He and Laurie have hit a rocky point which I know very little about. What I do know at this point is that they are not married and the wedding was supposed to be a few days ago. I belive that Nate no longer has a place of residence and once again has issues concerning the computers he built for a girlfriend. (Remember the Liz Wells incident.)

Dan Levin got married and boy what a great time his wedding was. He and Anthony are now happily married and in Boston. I found myself spending a good deal of time with Dan while I wasn't at work this summer. We had some great times kayaking on lake calhoun. Drinks and happy hours with Josh and Brian, we always found the cheapest way to drink. Dan and I even went out to the bars in Milwaukee for his birthday. The gay bars in milwaukee are wierd, but hey all the bars I've been to in milwaukee are wierd, so i shouldn't be surprised.

Josh and Brian are of course still Josh and Brian. Still the same as they always were. Josh is now dating Jessica's (my ex-girlfriend) little sister Lauren. She goes to Kansas so a long distance relationship is bound to cause some sort of drama later.

Bonnie and I have actually come closer friends despite the distance. Not being in DC this summer kinda sucked for me, but its nice to know that my friend still remember me. Bonnie and I have been having long late night phone calls and lots of IMs. I'm not exactly sure what's going on there, but again...well you know.

Technology:
NEW CELLULAR PHONE!!!!
I finally made a decision and went with the Motorola SLVR or L7 for those of you keeping score on actually model numbers. Now that I have it and have changed the case from black to silver, I'm thinking about upgrading. Not a serious thought, but you know how I love to have new gadgets. Who knows what's in my future...maybe a Treo?

Work:
At the beginning of the summer I thought Al's wouldn't be very steady. That's why I got a second job at Banana Republic. I really thought that a Gap Inc company would give me a steady stream of 20-30 hours a week. The exact opposite was true here, the hours dried up quickly after a few weeks at the Banana Republic. (Dan and I called it the Honduras.) Al's has been great though. Lots of hours, good tips and I'm cooking, serving, and dishwashing. I'm having a great time working there. Its tough, but still great times.

So instead of being a part time employee at Honduras, I'm now a seasonal associate. I'll go back for some holiday hours and maybe some summer, but who knows.

So that was the summer in a nutshell. Its been mostly work, but fun too.
Maybe I'll be able to get more blogging in as the school year starts.

Long Time no Blog

So its been quite awhile since my last post and a whole lot of stuff has happened. . .

I'll do this in a list form so that it's slightly easier:

The Good Stuff:
Being elected President of MY AEPi
Meeting a really cool girl
New job at Al's Breakfast
Possible new job at Banana Republic (Yay full time work!)
Finding a place to live next year

The Bad Stuff:
Losing my Temple Israel Job
The general situation concerning love in my life right now (minus the one i met from the good stuff)
Not having any time to do homework recently

So that's the stuff that's happened in a nutshell. I'm going to try to get back to regular blogging soon.