A Semester Review...

So this is my penultimate semester at the U of M. While I've been here I've not had an easy semester, and this one was no different from the previous ones. This semester was an attempt to strike a balance between the major pieces of my life (in no particular order mind you):

Work
School
Frat
Personal Life

Was I even remotely successful at this? The answer is once again no I was not. There were times when the Frat dominated my life and I felt like all I did was organize/prepare the next event. These were the times when I wanted to throw up my hands and say screw this, but in the end I'm happy with what I'm getting from the effort. My brothers all say you get what you put in. I've put in a lot and now I'm finally starting to reap the rewards.

There were times when my life was centered around getting up and going to work and class. These were the times when I couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to have a personal life in any way, shape, or form. Exhausting is the only word which describes the parts of the semester where I was in a work/school rut.

Lastly was my personal life. Did I have any fun this semester that didn't involve me being at work or hanging out with the frat? The answer to this question is yes. Maybe I even had a little bit too much fun at certain points. The trip to DC was the most relaxed I've been in a long time, and I have no idea when the next time I'll be able to do something like it again. I had a lot of fun with many different people throughout the semester. I ran up bar tabs buying drinks for friends and managed to say/do some pretty stupid things when I had a few too many.

Balance was not exactly my strong suit, and well it never really has been. I seem to crash through one week at a time, barely seeing what's going on tomorrow let alone a month from now. However, now I have to start thinking about the rest of my life and frankly I'm terrified.

The post for...

Some people I know tell me I'm having a great semester. They say that my semester must be great if I'm hooking up with all those girls. I've become something I didn't want to be. I'm not sure how to describe what I've become, but I've hurt people who I didn't mean to hurt. I'm not sure there's any way to fix what I've done, but for the first time since freshman year I have a serious regret in my life.

I hurt someone who cared about me and for that I am sorry, but there's no way to go back. I as a person shouldn't have done it for the obvious reason: its wrong. However, I as who I am shouldn't have done it because its happened to me enough times. From cheating girls to being the rebound, I've been hurt enough times to know how bad it feels. Well it feels like shit on the other side too. I feel like an asshole which is basically what I am at this point.

I'm not sure if the person I hurt will ever read this, but I'm sorry that I hurt you. I know that its not enough, but its all I got. You say I'm a big talker, and maybe I am, but talk is all I got. There's really no action at this point. I deserve what I get, whatever that may be. I'm probably too much of a coward to even call you, but who knows I might grow a pair and apologize. I know that my confusing life is not an excuse for anything that I did, but its certainly a contributing factor in the equation. Not that I actually understand the equation in anyway.

From a distance, one of my friends would probably say: Harry's just having fun. I'm not entirely convinced that I'm having as much fun as everyone thinks I'm having.